did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
