Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
