how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
