my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Two words: blizzard sex
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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