It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
