I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
