I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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