I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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