Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.

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(770): View more from Georgia

You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!

(706): View more from Georgia

Oh yeah.

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(619): View more from California

well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(613): View more from Ontario

She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"

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(870): View more from Arkansas

What's the big deal? you guys fuck

(1-870): View more from Arkansas

3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times

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(631): View more from New York

i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill

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(727): View more from Florida

I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea

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(816): View more from Missouri

Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.

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