I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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