Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.