I thought spray tan was a myth
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.