what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
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I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
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In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.