Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
