I think i sorta joined a cult last night
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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