His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize