"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
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