Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
