it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
