The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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