I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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