I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
