Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
