a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
