You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize