I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
