That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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