Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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