Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
