ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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