Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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