Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
