i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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