No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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