Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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