That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
