you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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