she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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