This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
he fucked my hip out of place.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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