he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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