New low: just hacked my moms facebook
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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