She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
