Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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