Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
