sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Farmville is her only friend.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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