you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
