Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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