Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
