whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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