hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize