Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
We're too hungover to prance.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
