You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
