is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
