I looked at my own cervix.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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