you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
