I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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