I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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