I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
