"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
