theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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