sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I want to be your penis for a week.
Just pee around me
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
