Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Is it because I queefed?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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