You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
