And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
